


4 Times Dean Tried to Kiss Castiel & 1 Time Castiel Kissed Dean

by SquishySterek (Herm_own_ninny)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Addams Family musical - Freeform, Dean is Gomez and fucking rocks it, Gay Jokes, High School AU, Jock Castiel, M/M, Theater nerd Dean, cheesy high school romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-11
Updated: 2018-05-11
Packaged: 2019-05-01 02:08:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,803
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14510193
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Herm_own_ninny/pseuds/SquishySterek
Summary: 4+1 -Dean, the gorgeously talented and very out theater geek finally gets asked out by Mr. Hotstuff - Castiel Novak.Cas was raised in a stiff environment, and opening up to Dean and everything he wants is difficult for him.But closing night of Dean's show leads to a surprise neither of them had really been prepared for.





	1. The Threshold Moment

**Author's Note:**

  * For [StarsAreStupid](https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarsAreStupid/gifts).



> One of the famous 4+1 pieces I've always wanted to write but never had the guts to!  
> This is my Destiel Flipfest piece for the 2018 event!  
> I had the wonderful pleasure to work with a beautifully talented artist whom I know by the name EmmalenaGrace.  
> She is gorgeously talented, and any piece she creates for a chapter will be put in during its scene and again at the end for your viewing pleasure. _Please_ make sure to [give her some love and appreciation](https://emmalenagrace.tumblr.com/post/173795752370/title-4-times-dean-tried-to-kiss-castiel-1-time) for these gorgeous pieces she's made off of my writing! She deserves all of the good things. She also made the very cute page breaks I'm using for this piece.

“Hey, Dean. Can we talk real quick?” Cas had his hands shoved in his jacket pockets, the leather sleeves on his letterman scrunched up slightly. He'd just pulled Dean from a rehearsal after school. His demeanor was awkward and slightly closed off, a stark contrast to his usual open stance and squared shoulders.  
“What's up, my dude?”  
“I wanted to know, y’know, uhm, if you'd be interested in going on a date? Multiple dates, maybe?”  
“Sure, Cas. Who're you setting me up with?” Dean smiled, stepping in closer and lowering his voice to a whisper. “Please tell me he's a football player.”  
“Well, I was originally going to suggest myself, but I can go ask the oth-”  
“No!” Dean’s cheeks went slightly pink as a few heads in the hallway turned to look at them after his little outburst. “I'm saying yes to you. No take backs. No switches. You.”  
Cas cleared his throat and dropped Dean’s gaze, trying not to smile too wide. “I think I can do that.”  
Dean laughed quietly and stepped into Cas’ space, gently hooking a finger under his chin before lifting his face up. Castiel knew what was coming and scanned the hallway. When he saw a few of the boys on the varsity team at the end of the hall, he turned his face away and pulled Dean into a hug - of sorts.  
“Yeah, dude! Can't wait to work on Smith’s project, too! Call you later tonight?”  
Dean frowned as he stepped back, but the second he caught sight of the boys making their way over, he sighed heavily and rolled his eyes. “Sure, Cas. Call me tonight.”  
“No, hey, real quick. I just… don't want everyone to know about us right away, okay?” Castiel murmured, smiling nervously. “Is that alright?”  
“Sure. I've gotta get back onstage before Martin skins me alive.”  
“Bye, Dean. Have a good one!”  
“It's 'break a leg’, dumbass!”

 

 

  
[](https://emmalenagrace.tumblr.com/post/173795752370/title-4-times-dean-tried-to-kiss-castiel-1-time)  


 

 

”Hey, Cas. Uhm, serious question.”  
This could be fun. He hadn't even gotten to greet Dean after answering the call.  
“Yeah, what's up?”  
“Earlier, when you'd said you didn't want everyone to know about us just yet… I'm not going to have to deal with you being… scared of doing things with me? Going on a date, holding hands, kissing. Am I?” Dean asked quietly.  
Cas cleared his throat quietly again, grimacing at Dean’s quiet sardonic chuckle.  
“Hey, before you go getting how you do, let me explain it. Because you know how my dad is, you know how I've had to grow up, you know what I've been conditioned into. I don't want to let everyone know right away in case we end up not working out. I don't want you haunted by the 'oh, look, he dated Cas! What a little whore’ type thing. Does that make sense?”  
“It does, but what about out and about? Like if we go to dinner or a movie or on a walk…”  
“Since we never know if we'll see someone from school…” Cas started and then stopped himself, sighing quietly. “Movies would be best. A restaurant that offers a back booth would be ideal. I just… Dean, I don't want you to be negatively affected if this doesn't work out between us. You get that, don't you?”  
“Is it okay if I tell Sammy? Because I already did. And Crowley. But I'll tell them not to tell anyone. They're actually here with me now. Sorry.”  
Castiel laughed quietly, shaking his head. “Of course I trust who you trust. I told my brother, and I also told Balth.”  
“You told Bee? Really, Cas? You trust hi-”  
“Dean, stop. If this is going to work between us, the first thing you have to know and understand is that Balthazar is my closest friend. He does stupid things, he is a partier, but he is a genuinely good friend and seriously intelligent. You know who Crowley is fighting for valedictorian that nobody knows who it is?”  
“You're fucking with me,” Dean said quietly, and Cas couldn't help but laugh.  
“I am, but Balth is in the top quartile of our class. Just give him a chance and learn to get close to him, alright? Because I do expect us to be able to hang out with each other's friends…”  
“Then I hope you understand I'll expect you to hang out with Crowley,” Dean murmured, and Cas could hear the smugness in his voice.  
“You know what? I'll give him a chance. And, about Crowley, I may… get a little jealous about how much he touches you and how much y'all hang out at first, mainly because I just don't like him.”  
“That's understandable. Just tell me whenever that happens, okay? Seriously. Even if it's something small, and we'll talk it out. No pent up emotions. I mean that. You understand?”  
“Yes, mom, I know I will have to talk about my feelings with you.”  
“I should hang up,” Dean huffed, but Cas knew he was smiling.  
“Well, I was hoping you would. I have to write that essay for Smith and get me that 64 extra credit points on a test grade.”  
“Why don't we both just read the book and discuss it with him? 5 page essays aren't fun. I can't sum up my thoughts on a book that large in just five pages.”  
“God, you're a nerd. Do you realize how nerdy that sounded?”  
“What's the square root of 12,321?”  
“111. That's easy. And irrelevant.”  
“You're a nerd, too, Cas. It's why we have pretty much our entire schedule together this year. Only Jameson teaches AP Lit, only Smith teaches AP Macro Econ, only Peri teaches AP Calculus BC, and only Rhaden teaches Anatomy. Just because you run around with other sweaty boys in tights, throwing around some weird ball on a field between two broken forks doesn't mean you don't get to be called a nerd, too.”  
“Fine, fine, I'll take it. But if we do the discussion, I still need to read. I have to work most of the break, and any time off I'd like to spend with you and my boys.” “You're trying to make me blush. This isn't fair,” Dean huffed, making Cas laugh.  
“Trust me, _baby_ , if I wanted to make you blush, this isn't how I'd go about it.”  
“You better take some time to tell me another day, since I have to let you go to do your homework. You're an ass, leaving me on a cliffy like this.” Dean mumbled, making Castiel laugh softly.  
“At least I didn't leave you with a stiffy,” He whispered before hanging up. It took only a few seconds before his phone lit up with a message from Dean.

Castiel smiled and sent a quick text back, containing nothing but the kiss-blowing emoji.  
Dean could murder him tomorrow. It was a good pun.


	2. The Doorstep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first date!

“That's it. This date is cancelled.”  
Cas had just opened the door. “What? Wait, why?”  
“You've disrespected Baby. I refuse to date a man, no matter how gorgeous, that can't appreciate my child.”  
“You're an idiot,” Castiel laughed, opening the door all of the way to get in.  
“No. You don't get to sit until you apologize.”  
“I'm not apologizing to a car,” Cas scoffed as he buckled in, looking over at Dean. It took an enormous amount of willpower not to lose it at the expression he was on the receiving end of.  
“I'm serious. We aren't moving until you apologize.”  
Cas opened his mouth the reply before the two of them jumped at the sound of a hand slamming against the hood of the car. Gabe knocked on Castiel’s window and he rolled it down.  
“I swear to God, Gabe, if you hit my car like that again-”  
“You're gonna get all mad and try to threaten me again and then I'll just keep doing it. Get used to it, pretty boy. Why haven't you left yet?”  
“He wants me to apologize for calling the car shit.”  
Gabe pursed his lips, shaking his head. “Cassy, buddy, you know not to disrespect a man's car. I'd do the same thing to you.”  
“But you're my brother! You're supposed to be an ass to me.”  
“Geez, what else can you do to get this date started off on the wrong foot?” Dean mumbled, Gabe nodding along.  
“You insulted his car and compared him to your brother. You're on a roll, little bro. Have fun tonight,” Gabe smirked, patting the hood before he went back to the house.  
“Dean, the car isn't horrible. Can we please go?” Castiel mumbled, crossing his arms over his chest.  
“Not until you apologize.”  
“Are you serious?”  
“Yes, dammit! Apologize to Baby!” Dean snapped, and Castiel scoffed.  
“I'm so sorry, dumbass car,” He caressed the center console in a sarcastically sweet way. “You most definitely are not stupid, shitty, or a mindless being that has no clue I'm even speaking to it.”  
“Oh, fuck off. I can't believe I'm taking you to dinner still.”  
“Because you're attracted to me.”  
“Pretty much,” Dean huffed, shifting gears and pulling out onto the street.

“So, let me get this straight-” Dean started, cutting his steak up.  
“I'm not,” Castiel interrupted, smirking at Dean as he took a bite of asparagus.  
“God, the puns. _Why_?” Dean groaned, setting down his silverware and rubbing a hand over his face.  
“Because they make life better. Get used to them.”  
“Okay, sure, whatever. Anyways, as I was trying to ask, you don't like watching horror movies?”  
“Yeah. But here's the thing-” Castiel paused and took a sip of his drink before continuing on. “-it's because they make me laugh. Because when I get nervous at things I find stupid, I laugh at myself. And I find jumping or yelling during a scary part of a movie embarrassing on many levels.”  
“That's honestly really adorable,” Dean chuckled. “I think our first movie date just might have to be a horror movie.”  
“No, come on. You already made me apologize to a damn car, Dean. I at least get to torture you once before that happens.”  
“Torture me! Is that really how you feel?”  
“Yes,” Castiel huffed, giving Dean a look as he took a bite of his chicken.  
“I just came out to have a good time, and honestly? I'm feeling so attacked right now. How could you disgrace me and my memory in such a way?”  
“Geez, I date a drama King and all I get is melodrama. Why am I so surprised?”  
“Honey, I'm a drama _queen_ , understood?”  
“I'm ready for the check,” Castiel muttered, shaking his head and taking a long swig of his coke.  
“What, gay jokes make you uncomfortable?”  
“No, you're just… a lot to take in. And weird. Gosh, I didn't know gays were so different from bis.”  
“Again, feeling attacked. You're on a roll, buddy,” Dean smiled, reaching over and stealing a piece of Castiel’s asparagus.  
“Hey, I told you I was going to be a piece of work. You were warned.”  
“Not adequately,” Dean murmured, laughing at the bitch face Castiel fired back at him. “Okay, okay, I'll stop patronizing you. What about some other first date questions. Like- ooh!” Dean set his chin on his hand, fluttering his eyelashes at Castiel. “What's your favorite color?” He cooed.  
“Green. A soft green, maybe even a Kelly green, but…” Castiel leaned against the table, setting down his silverware. “But really it's the green in your eyes, the different tones of them all. That little bit of hazel in both, and the soft tone they take on when the light touches them just right. Green is my favorite color, and your eyes imbue the hue perfectly.”  
Dean held Castiel’s gaze a few seconds out of pure shock before dropping his gaze, the tips of his ears a bright pink. “Uh, yeah, okay,” He mumbled, clearing his throat and smiling small. “Thanks.”  
“What about you?”  
“What?”  
“Your favorite color.”  
“You expect me to follow that up? Really, Cas?”  
“I just want to know your favorite color.”  
“Don't laugh.”  
“I won't.”  
“Pastel pink.”  
“You're so fucking gay.”  
“You promised!” Dean whined, his cheeks going pink again.  
“I can't help it, that was too perfect,” Castiel laughed, shaking his head. “But it's cute. Adorable. Horridly stereotypical in the worst way.”  
“I _know_ , shut up,” Dean whined, poking at his green beans and pouting.  
“Alright, alright. Hm. My question?”  
“Sure, let's turn it into 50 questions.”  
“That's too much. 25.”  
“35.”  
“17, take it or leave it.”  
“Fine,” Dean huffed, crossing his arms over his chest.  
“Alright, hm… Why did you choose to have steak when you're paying for the meal?”  
“Because steak is good. Why would I have to have someone else to pay for it to get it myself?”  
“Most people I've dated won't order anything extravagant unless they're the ones paying.”  
“Really? That's shitty. I wouldn't get anything I wouldn't pay for myself. Jeez,” Dean mumbled, shaking his head and taking another bite.  
“Besides, I only indulge myself once a month, maybe even every other. I tend to take Sammy places and spend most of my paycheck on him and my bills.”  
“I tend to pool with Gabe for us to do things. Dad sometimes helps out, but he always ties it to chores or some kind of guilt trip,” Cas murmured, shaking his head and taking a bite of asparagus. “But I also understand. Dad's on his own and has two teenage boys. He paid for all of my football stuff and still does. I don't know. Ah. Let's talk about something else.”  
“Alright, my turn. Give me a story that could change my opinion about Balthazar,” Dean murmured, giving him a challenging smirk.  
“Alright,” Castiel returned the look, taking a bite of his chicken before he started. “Balthazar was the first person to find out I wasn't straight, and it was by accident. He found a social media page I'd been running in secret and confronted me. I broke down and begged him not to tell everyone because I was afraid of my dad finding out. Bee comforted me and when I finally calmed down he punched me in the arm and got onto me for not telling him sooner and thinking he'd do something like that to me. He's been my best friend ever since. Aside from Gabe, of course.”  
“That's actually really touching. I guess I'll have to reconsider him,” Dean smiled, setting his silverware down on his empty plate. “I'm guessing you'll want a story about Crowley?”  
“I'd like to, but you don't have to,” Castiel murmured. “Mainly because I know it would be difficult to find something good about him,” he teased.  
“Alright, I'm pulling out all of the stops. Make sure your heart strings are in tune because they're about to get played.”  
“You say some of the weirdest shit, Dean.”  
“Oh, can it. Let me tell you the story of Crowley and his amazing-ness.”  
Dean was very animated when he spoke, Castiel couldn't help but take note. He'd talk about them falling and he'd rest his hands on the table, as if catching himself. He'd talk about Crowley hitting someone and would pretend to hold someone by their shirt and smack them back and forth. But when he talked about the times Crowley would come stay with them because his mom was going to leave for so long, Dean would drop Castiel’s gaze and stare at the tablecloth, start fiddling with his thumbs. The nights Crowley would ask to stay with Dean in his room because he had really bad nightmares, and the vice versa nights where Dean would have the issue and need Crowley. There wasn't one big moment where they grew together instantaneously. It had happened over several years, starting in grade school and up through even today. Crowley acts the way he does because he can't let anyone close after his mom just left him when he turned 18. And Castiel finally realized why Crowley never talked about home, about birthday parties with family, or complained about said family. When he finally met Dean’s gaze again, he realized the brunette had stopped talking and was looking at him half-expectant and half-understanding. It was a lot to take in.  
“I'm not going to just write off all of the bullying he did to me and Bee in middle school, but I'll give him a chance. As long as it's mutual. He's got to take a chance to see me in a different light, too,” Castiel finally said, looking away from Dean and taking a drink of his coke so he'd have something to do with himself other than just sit there in the open.  
“He already said he's willing to. He wants to know if you'd like an apology. He knows I'm serious about you and wants to get off on the right foot early on.”  
“I… don't want an apology, per se, because he stopped when we got to highschool. I'd just like an acknowledgement that I don't need to avoid him like the plague? I don't know. I don't… I can't properly respond to apologies and I don't want him to take that time to do something like that and have me shut down and say 'okay’ or some other stupid one word answer and think I'm not grateful. Or the opposite end is I do that and then I start rambling like thi-” Castiel stopped mid sentence, looking down to where Dean set his hand over his and squeezed it. “Would you prefer a text, then? Just to read it? And then you'll both have the other’s number.” Dean murmured.  
Castiel nodded and gently pulled his hand from Dean’s to grab his phone.  
He just sent a bee emoji to Crowley’s number, and Dean said he'd probably respond after Dean got home tonight.  
“Now, moving on from the emotional air that has been set, maybe a more lighthearted question? Or series of questions?”  
“Shoot.”  
“Hm. Favorite candy or sweet.”  
“If we're talking overall treat, I'd have to say twizzlers,” Dean smiled, reaching over to grab another piece of Castiel’s asparagus from his plate.  
“Woah, woah, hold on. I thought it was pie?”  
Dean groaned and slumped back against the booth, shaking his head. “You make one joke in 9th grade and suddenly everyone thinks you're a slut for pie. It's just… mediocre. It's okay. Sammy is actually crazy about pie. I just like me some Twizzlers.”  
“Well, my little freshman I mentor, Jack, he got me hooked on nougat. He'd done the same thing, made a joke, and suddenly had a buttload of them and gave them to me. Nougat is just… good as hell. Especially Three Musketeers.”  
Dean grimaced at Castiel, nodding his head.  
“Okay, so the little fuck boy that messes with Sammy got you hooked on the worst type of candy around.”  
“I have been offended in two major ways in one sentence. But, hold on. Jack is not a fuck boy, Dean. He's shy and quiet and isn't the best at communication. He literally never shuts up about Sam and how cool he is,” Castiel chuckled, then laughed quietly. “It does make sense that he's been saying Sam hasn't been talking to him recently and he's kinda put out. He was hoping they'd become the bestest of friends.”  
“No, he's been poking fun at Sam and messing with the girl he likes.”  
“Jess? He's been talking to her to try to get to know Sam better, Dean,” Castiel laughed quietly, shaking his head a bit. “You and your brother are quite clueless.”  
“Fine, fine. Shush. We're dumb. We were only gifted in the looks department.”  
“I can't say much for your brother, mainly because he's still 14 and that would be wrong at my age in many ways, but I can, with absolute certainty, say that you are very pleasing to my eyes. And most people's eyes. I'm pretty sure that's why you get cast so often. The directors get distracted by those green eyes and your dazzling smile, and then it's all downhill from there.”  
“So you don't think it's because of my talent?” Dean huffed, glaring half-assedly at Castiel. “I'm offended.”  
“No, you're Dean, and-” Castiel giggled and ducked as a piece of ice was thrown at him before sitting back up. “-every highschool student is honestly cringey and horrible because you have a short time to put everything together and you're very new to everything on a “professional” level.”  
“So you'll understand that I'm not going to start coming to football games just because we've started dating?” Dean asked with an awkward expression, taking a sip of his water.  
“Uhm, you have to come to finals because I already bought a ticket to your show next month.”  
“How did you already buy a ticket?” Dean asked incredulously.  
“Gabe is in charge of sales. I even got me a seat reserved front row,” Castiel grinned proudly, waggling his brow.  
“So you're serious, about this. Us,” Dean said quietly, sitting back in his chair, looking at Castiel thoughtfully.  
“What's that supposed to mean?”  
“You haven't publicly dated a guy before, to my knowledge, and you haven't been with a girl at our school for longer than two weeks. But you just bought a ticket to support me for a thing that happens in almost four months.”  
“Should I be a little offended that you're so surprised?”  
“Maybe. I don't know. I was kind of expecting you to take me on a couple of dates, then fuck me and drop me. That's been my experience with the other guys in sports,” Dean murmured. “I've just been conditioned into expecting that. Don't get all haughty. I'm always down for settling in for a projected long run.”

 

 

  
[](https://emmalenagrace.tumblr.com/post/173795752370/title-4-times-dean-tried-to-kiss-castiel-1-time)  


 

 

“I had a good time tonight, Dean. Thank you for taking me out,” Castiel said quietly, smiling small at Dean and pulling him in for a tight hug. Dean was smiling, squeezing Castiel tight, tucking his face in his neck.  
“I had a good time, even though you insulted my car. Twice,” he huffed, poking Castiel in the chest with a half-assed glare.  
The brunette laughed, reaching to unlock the door. He saw Dean lean forward from the corner of his eye, and thinking on his feet because his brother-and, God forbid- his dad could be right inside, he turned his face that last bit at the last second so Dean’s kiss landed on his cheek. He mumbled a quiet apology before opening the door, stumbling over his feet to get inside when he saw his dad.  
“You two trouble makers actually get any work done?”  
“Yeah, dad. Smith is gonna love the project,” Castiel said quickly, glancing at Dean and pleading him to go along.  
“Yes, sir! I was actually going to ask you in person if I'm allowed to steal him away for a movie night my friends are throwing this weekend? He's slow at asking your permission.”  
“I like your initiative. As long as Gabe is allowed to go with him, I'll happily let him go. Just as long as it isn't some kind of sex and drugs party?”  
“No, sir. A movie party. Completely sex and drugs free, unless you consider the adrenaline rush you get from a good movie a drug?” Dean smiled, putting on as much charm as possible.  
Chuck laughed in good nature, clapping Dean on the shoulder. “I like you, boy. You'll be good for Cas. See you later…?”  
“My name is Dean, sir. See you, too. Bye, Cas! Tell Gabe I say hi, too.”


	3. It's Getting Too Gay In Here So Let Go Of My Hand

“You've got all of the blankets and pillows?” Dean asked as he walked back into his living room, a bowl of popcorn and four bottles of water with him.  
“Yeah. And I've even got that knitted one you really like because of its _aesthetic_ ,” Castiel smirked, holding it up for Dean as he situated himself in the little nook reserved for him.  
“You still say aesthetic weird,” Dean teased, wriggling over to press flush against Castiel, smiling warmly.  
“I like pronouncing all of my vowels. You just like saying 'ass’,” Castiel muttered, poking Dean in the side and laughing at his high pitched squeak in response to the ticklish touch.  
“At least I don't fall flat on my face walking down the stairs.”  
“Hey! That was one time and there was a Save the Bees commercial on!” Cas said indignantly, flicking Dean’s shoulder.  
He chuckled and kissed the brunette’s cheek before settling against his side. “I scored me an environmentalist football player who wants to go into child therapy for college. How did I get so lucky?”  
“I asked you out,” Castiel said with a smirk, laughing at the ultimate bitch face Dean sent his way. “Okay, okay, before you murder me, let's start the movie. You have to promise not to be too freaked out when I laugh after the jumpscares.”  
“We covered this on the first date, Cassie. If anything I'll laugh at you after you laugh so I don't stay too scared,” Dean smiled, taking a handful of popcorn and stuffing it in his mouth all at once while Castiel made a fake gagging noise. All Dean did was flip him off, eyes trained on the screen as he tried not to laugh with the food in his mouth and cause himself to choke.  
“You're a dick,” Castiel mumbled, turning the lights off with the remote before getting comfortable.  
Dean settled in against him, smirking slightly. “Just because I have one doesn't mean I am one.”  
“Yes it does.”  
“Fight me!”  
“When and where?”  
“Later tonight, under the sheets,” Dean smirked, waggling his brow in a lewd manner.  
“That seems like it'd be difficult. Not much room to move. But, easier to suffocate the oth-what?” Castiel blushed when he caught sight of Dean trying to bite back laughter.  
“It was a joke about fucking!”  
“Well… go fuck yourself!”  
“I'd rather fuck you.”  
“Shut up,” Castiel huffed, flicking him on the shoulder.  
Dean just smiled and kissed his cheek before settling in against his boyfriend, reaching for his hand and tangling their fingers together.

 

 

  
[](https://emmalenagrace.tumblr.com/post/173795752370/title-4-times-dean-tried-to-kiss-castiel-1-time)  


 

 

“You-fucking _-ohmygod_ , Cas! Fuck!” Dean was wheezing, on the floor, seriously overreacting(in Castiel’s opinion) after hearing him do a mangled squeal and laugh when a very horrible CGI wolf jumped through a window. Castiel may or may not have almost fallen off of the couch, and the bowl of snacks had gravitated towards the floor because… gravity, and gravity is the only reason they spilled across the floor. Dean was just being dumb and adorable and laughing his little head off, his cheeks bright pink, eyes squeezed shut as tears actually started falling from his eyes. Dean was _literally_ rolling on the floor laughing. What a fucking nerd. “I can't - you, Cassie, make the noise again! Please!”  
“No. I'm not indulging your mean laughter and teasing any more. You promised me!” Castiel mumbled, climbing back on the couch and wrapping himself completely in the blankets.  
“Baby, no, come on!” Dean tried to keep a straight face, getting on his knees in front of Castiel and grabbing his hand. “Baby, no, come on, look at me.” The giggles were breathy and almost non-existent.  
All Dean got in response was a noncommittal grunt, Castiel tightening the blankets around his body. Naturally, Dean climbed on to the couch, his legs straddling the huddle of blankets that was his boyfriend. He gently pried his arms open, parting the sea of blanket, and dove in, settling himself a bit forcefully against Castiel’s chest. His arms ended up snapping closed around Dean, the brunette grumbling about how it wasn't fair that Dean knew he liked cuddles way too much to be able to resist properly.  
“Pobrecito!” Dean cooed, ducking his face into the dip between Castiel’s neck and shoulder and started kissing at the skin.  
“Mm, Dean, no, c'mon. Your brother is gonna be home, soon,” Castiel whimpered, his body acting in contrary to his words as he bared his neck. Dean smirked against his skin, lips still working over the expanse laid before him, humming happily.  
They both startled when the front door opened, Dean glowering at Sam when he popped his head in the living room. “Is it safe? No dicks out? I won't be scarred for life?”  
“Unfortunately,” Dean huffed, settling in against Castiel’s chest as his little brother plopped down beside them on the couch and pulled up Netflix. Dean blocked out the conversation Castiel was having with Sam, more interested in tracing patterns over his boyfriend's body. He started first with his chest, fingers slipping beneath the worn out shirt Castiel was wearing and tracing random designs and shapes over his skin. Down and down, careful to keep his touches away from the danger zone now that his brother was here. He grabbed Castiel’s hand and was about to kiss it before he pulled his hand away with an indignant noise. “Dean, that's gay. So fucking gay. What the hell.”  
“Castiel Aaron Novak. We are literally in a gay relationship.”  
“I am bi! Stop the bi Erasure! Let my sexuality exist and live!”  
“Only if you let me do gay shit!”  
“No. Now stop touching me and watch the documentary your brother found about Harvey Milk.”


	4. Love, Simon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter does contain a small breakdown, as well as dialogue from the movie Love, Simon.  
> It could be considered a spoiler, but I believe it is a piece of dialogue every queer person should be able to hear, no matter age or status.
> 
> That being said, I am not claiming any ownership or rights to the movie or dialogue I have credited and left in the quotes. I own none of the characters in the Love, Simon movies/franchise and am not laying claim to any, either.

“Is this going to be too much for you? I've heard it touches on some homophobia and gets a little deep at moments,” Dean said quietly, stepping out of Castiel’s dad’s truck and pulling his jacket on.  
“You don't have to worry about me, Dean. I'm gonna start pulling all of the blankets and pillows out. Wanna run to the restroom?”  
“Yeah. And I've got dinner, you're doing gas and paid to get us in.”  
“Dean! No! Even drive-ins have ridiculous prices!” Castiel called after him, sighing quietly and shaking his head as Dean disappeared into the bathroom. They'd gotten there a cool 30 minutes early and had gotten to choose their spot, being second in the line.  
To be honest, Castiel was nervous for the movie. Gabriel had said he'd had to walk out of the theatre at one point because he couldn't handle how different their life was to the kid on screen. Castiel wasn't good at emotions, he hadn't cried in front of Dean, yet, and he sure as hell didn't want it to be at some cheesy teen romance.  
“I thought you said you were getting the blankets out?” Dean was right beside Castiel now, leaning forward to press a kiss to his cheek.  
“I was thinking of how to convince you to let me buy our dinner,” Castiel supplied as an excuse. He could tell Dean wasn't buying it.  
“You're not going to, babe. I already put the order in,” Dean smirked, moving around Castiel to get to the back doors of the truck.  
“Why? That's not fair or fun. You're being rude,” Castiel huffed, poking at Dean’s side so he'd move. He grabbed an armful of blankets and walked around to the bed of the truck and tossed them in before unlatching the hook to drop the back of the bed down. Dean jumped over the side and offered Castiel a hand to jump up. They fell into the pile of blankets, Dean rolling a little on top of Castiel and nuzzling his face in his neck.  
The brunette cleared his throat in discomfort, glancing around them nervously, before carefully sitting up.  
“Come on! You promised me cuddles!” Dean pouted, setting his head in Castiel’s lap and pouting up at him.  
“It's still light out,” Castiel said quietly, unable to meet Dean’s gaze as he combed his fingers through his hair.  
“So?” Dean sat up, taking Castiel’s hand and tangling their fingers. “You promised cuddles. Please don't freak out on me here,” Dean sighed, running his thumbs over the backs of Castiel’s hands. “It's been three months. Exactly. I want us to… tell everyone,” Dean mumbled, lifting Castiel’s hand to his lips.  
“I want us to, as well. But… I have to tell my dad before everyone else. I can't let him find out from someone besides me,” Castiel said quietly. “I was-” He paused, coughing quietly and dropping his eyes to his lap. “I was going to tell him tomorrow after you stayed the night,” Castiel said quietly, hunching his shoulders when Dean didn't say anything right away.  
When he finally looked up and met his gaze, Dean’s face seemed to be battling between a sickening amount of fondness and an overwhelming amount of something Castiel both wanted and feared - love.  
“Can you please say something?” Castiel’s voice cracked on the last word, dropping his eyes back to his lap.  
“I love you,” Dean murmured, and when Castiel looked back up at him, he had a determined look on his face.  
“I, uh, I think… I think I love you, too, Dean,” Castiel mumbled, smiling a bit awkwardly at his boyfriend.  
“Don't say it just because I said it,” Dean smiled a bit tiredly, settling himself against Castiel’s chest. “You don't owe me anything to feel like you have to.”  
“I don't feel like I _have_ to, I'm just not sure if this is what it is. I feel different about you than anyone else, but I've never fe-”  
“Cassie! Deano!” Balthazar knocked on the side of the truck, making Castiel nearly jump out of his skin and glare daggers at his best friend.  
“Oh, shit. I ruined a gay moment, didn't I?”  
“Balthazar, I've gotten to be a good friend of yours, but I think I could easily rip your dick off right this second if you don't leave and come back later,” Dean muttered, looking over his shoulder at the teenager. “And if Crowley is with you, tell him he better not do the same thing because the same threat pertains to him. Now get the hell out of here and don't come back until the trailers start.”  
“Noted. Heard. Understood. Feeling threatened,” Balthazar fired finger guns as he back away, turning around and jogging back to his car, grabbing Crowley’s shoulder and dragging him along.  
Dean sighed heavily and tucked himself back against Castiel, settling his hand on his abdomen and tracing circles over his skin. “You were saying?”  
“Uh, I-” Castiel’s voice broke and he huffed, rubbing over his eyes and taking a deep breath before wrapping his arms back around Dean. “I don't feel-I-” He cut himself off again and groaned, chuckling a bit sardonically.  
“You said I make you feel new things. I liked where that was going,” Dean murmured, kissing Castiel’s cheek. “Unless those feelings are disgust and repulsion, then I could go without it.”  
“Never,” Castiel replied, and Dean was laughing, but the second he caught the intensity of his boyfriend's gaze, the sound died and his stomach dropped. “I could never feel repulsion towards you. Even when you wear week old sweatpants or get makeup all over me after rehearsal or one of Charlie’s whims. Even when you were sick and coughing and your nose was dripping disgusting slime. Even when you got drunk and called me to pick you up and threw up on me when I got there, even when you burp disgustingly loud.”  
Dean swallowed thickly and nodded, chills running down his spine as he sat there, completely caught off guard and wrapped in the spell Castiel seemed to be casting over him.  
“My heart does this stupid, painful but good thing when you smile and laugh, when you hold my hand or kiss me. Especially when you boop my nose, because you say 'boop’ and have this stupidly fucking adorable smile where your tongue pokes at the back of your teeth and your nose scrunches up a little bit.  
“And I love when you cuddle with me, because you just… touch. Idly. And not in a covertly sexual manner. You just trace over my skin and it's always so soothing. You just cuddle. You don't try to make it sex, and I really enjoy those times. Especially when you play with my hair.  
“And then the looks you'll give me that you think I don't see, those are my favorite. Because you don't seem to be trying to convince me or anyone,you just… let it happen and let it show and it makes me want to cry because it's so pure and you're- you make me want to do all of the stupid cute shit like take the dumb couple pictures or go on cheesy dates or wear matching shirts. And every night and morning, every good morning and good night text, how you never fail to let me know, even if that means taking Crowley's phone and texting it to me because your phone died… Dean, I do love you, but I also think I'm _in love_ with you. And to me that's a huge distinction, because I've loved other people I've dated, but with you, it's so much… more, and it's different, and it's intense and a little scary, but damn, Dean. I fucking love you to the moon and back and to the edges of the universe in every damn direction, over and over again until the time after time ends. I just have so many strong feelings for you, and I… I do love you. But it's also so much more than that,” Castiel ended in an almost whisper, staring down at where his hands were clasped, his arms wrapped loosely around Dean’s figure.  
“When you fall, you fall headfirst and don't look back. Gabe wasn't kidding,” Dean whispered, sitting up and brushing his fingers over Castiel’s cheek. When he sniffled, Cas looked up with a frown, reaching to brush his tears away.  
“I knew it was deep, but you don't have to cry,” Castiel couldn't help but joke in the moment, smiling a but timidly as he finally met Dean’s eyes. “And, yeah, I'm a huge sap that falls hard, fast. Who knew?”  
“I didn't want to believe it and be let down when you didn't fall for me.”  
“Dean, I fell for you junior year when I took intro to theater and was the absolute worst cyclops for Xanadu. I fell for you as I watched you rollerblade around in skin tight jean shorts and a muscle top. When I saw you talking to the freshman about how much it means to you and threatening what you'd do if they fucked it up for you... I fell hard and fast almost a year ago.”  
“Would it be encroaching on your love declarations to say that a lot of that is the same for me? I may be a theater geek, but you deliver some of the best monologues I've heard in awhile.”  
“It's because I'm not faking it. It's easy to deliver when you don't have to worry about the words you're conveying and how you're conveying them,” Castiel shrugged, letting Dean kiss him softly before he stood up. “I've got to get the rest of the blankets. Do you need my jacket?”  
“You're really asking me that, Cas?” Dean gave him a look, absolutely dripping with sass. “You could've just said no,” Castiel mumbled, laughing at the intensified look the comment brought him. “I even sprayed it with my cologne for you, you freak.”  
“The only freak I am is a freak in bed,” Dean huffed, smirking as he heard two groans follow the statement.  
“Maybe we should stay in your car for the movie, Crowley. I don't want to sit through an evening of gay jokes. I get enough from Cas.”  
“You haven't spent an evening with Dean before, Balthazar. I think they're pretty on par.”  
“And what I'm saying, Crowley, is that the two of them combined would only be pure hell,” Balthazar grumbled, grabbing some pillows from the backseat to aid Castiel in his endeavors.  
“Then again, there are enough blankets and pillows to smother them and hide their bodies until we dispose of them.”  
Crowley smirked, laughing at Dean’s eye roll and Castiel’s mock look of horror. “I like the way you think.”  
“I don't. Frankly, I fear my boyfriend’s and my own safety.”  
“Oh, can it, Cassy. As if I'd waste my resources and planning with murdering you and the gay thespian.”  
“I don't know if I should be offended or relieved.”  
“Both,” Balthazar smirked, winking at Castiel before they all got settled in the bed of the truck, Dean settling between his boyfriend's legs and against his chest.  
“You didn't grab the jacket,” Dean whispered as the opening credits rolled.  
“Figured the real thing could tide you over until you got home tonight,” Castiel murmured, sliding his arms around Dean’s waist and holding him securely. “I'll grab it if I assumed incorrectly.” “Don't bother. I'm sated,” Dean murmured, leaning back and kissing the corner of Castiel’s jaw before settling in for the movie.

Gabe was right. But about the wrong scene. Sure, the fear and gut-wrenching horror of being outed against his will constantly bore over Castiel day in and day out.  
But it was what Simon’s mother said to him after everything happened…

 **Simon:** _“Did you know?”_  
**Emily:** _“I knew you had a secret. When you were little you were so carefree. But these last few years more and more it’s almost like I can feel you holding your breath. I wanted to ask you about it, but I didn’t want to pry. Maybe I made a mistake.”_  
**Simon:** _“No. No mom, you didn’t make a mistake.”_  
**Emily:** _Being gay is your thing. There are parts of it you have to go through alone. I hate that. As soon as you came out you said, “Mom, I’m still me.” I need you to hear this: You are still you, Simon. You are still the same son who I love to tease and who your father depends on for just about everything. And your the same brother who always compliments his sister on her food, even when it sucks. You get to exhale now, Simon. You get to be more you than you have been in, in a very long time. You deserve everything you want.”_

Castiel didn't mean to disturb Dean when he suddenly decided to scramble to his feet, but he needed to step away and get some air.  
He wasn't even going to let his mind wander to his mom and losing her, the countless trips to the E.R. as she tried and failed to battle her heart disease.  
But he could process the fact that he still couldn't breathe. He couldn't let out the breath he'd been holding, even if he planned on telling his dad. Because his whole life would be full of closets and fear, navigating around who could and couldn't know about him and his secret. He was just bisexual, he didn't have the same stigma as the kid in the movie, but there were countless times he's been through online forums of people saying bisexual people didn't actually exist. Calling them whores, sluts, people who just fucked around because they wanted the extra attention. People who believed that their sexuality was just in flux between being gay and straight until they found a lifelong partner to settle down with, which then it would be decided - gay or straight.  
Castiel didn't know how to argue with those things, and sometimes he wondered if he was just gay with how he felt about Dean. There were times he considered dropping the label of bisexual so he wouldn't have to deal with the leers of threesomes or the taunts that he just likes to sleep around. He could just take the label 'gay’ and run with it. After all, he wanted to keep Dean for the long run, and he'd already be assumed gay by anyone that saw them as a couple.

“Hey, uh, are you okay?” Dean’s voice and touch were soft as he settled a hand on Castiel’s waist, stepping into his space and pulling him in for a firm hug.  
“I'm… not,” Castiel huffed out, wrapping his arms around Dean’s torso and holding him tight.  
“Well, I've got you, Cas. I'm not going anywhere.”  
“Thank you.”  
“I can't come out to my dad, yet. I'm not ready.”  
Dean did his best to hold back his sigh, trying not to roll his eyes when Castiel turned so his kiss landed on his cheek. “I understand, Cas.”

 

 

  
[](https://emmalenagrace.tumblr.com/post/173795752370/title-4-times-dean-tried-to-kiss-castiel-1-time)  


 

 

“We’re staying in your room, right?” Dean asked quietly, stepping out of the truck and grabbing the bundle of blankets Castiel handed him.  
“Yeah. I want to be able to hold you,” Castiel said quietly, smiling a bit timidly at Dean as he grabbed the pillows and kicked the door shut. “If, uh, only if you want to.”  
“Why wouldn't I?” Dean huffed, bumping their shoulders and following Castiel to the door, where Gabe was leaning in the doorway waiting for them.  
“You're mad I'm not telling my dad,” Castiel murmured, shuffling in around Gabe. He smiled at his dad tiredly, biting back a bit of a yawn for show, handing him the keys. “Thanks for letting us take the truck tonight. I filled it back up,” Castiel said quietly, and Chuck nodded. “I'm glad the four of you got up to trouble away from the house. How was the movie? You saw the one about the gay kid, right?”  
Castiel felt his stomach twist into knots as he tried to think of a response.  
“It was good. I liked the message and the things they brought to light. I related to a lot of it,” Dean supplied, setting the blankets in the basket behind the couch.  
“You relate?” Chuck clarified, giving Castiel a look.  
“Yes, sir. I was nearly outed a while back, but the person realized it's not their place and let me come out in my own time.”  
“And what exactly are you?”  
“I'm gay,” Dean smiled, sitting himself on the couch. Chuck perked his brow, glancing at Castiel again before turning to face him.  
“I don't know protocol for asking things, because obviously this is out of my depth, but… How did your parents react?”  
“My mom just nodded along, because she knew, and my dad… he didn't react bad. He was just upset he'd missed it, thought he was being a bad parent.”  
“I'd be scared of that, too. Missing such a huge part of your kid,” Chuck murmured, turning away to yawn. “Hm, anyways. I'm tired and gonna turn in. You two,” He stood and gestured at Gabriel and Castiel, “better let me know in advance if you're not straight so I can throw you a gay soiree.”  
“Did you really just say those words?” Gabe snorted, shaking his head with a smirk. “I'll be sure _not_ to let you know so I don't have to deal with whatever the hell that's supposed to be.”  
Castiel smiled weakly when Chuck pat his shoulder before walking to his room. Dean sidled up to his boyfriend, kissing his cheek. “And now you don't have to worry about him. All in your own time,” he murmured, kissing Castiel’s cheek and smiling warmly.


	5. Fruition

“So, you're Gomez Addams? Really?” Castiel frowned. He'd thought Dean was supposed to be some other guy, but he wasn't going to argue the point.  
“Well, they had me as Lucas, but the kid who was Gomez got pulled by his parents because he'd been caught doing heroin or something, so I stepped in for Gomez and my understudy took Lucas,” Dean explained with a smile, cuddling a bit closer to him. They were currently backstage in Dean’s singular dressing room, and Castiel was helping him 'prep’ for the show. The directors knew Castiel wasn't good for shit when it came to Dean getting ready, but they knew he got Dean psyched up and in a good mood for the show, so they let his technically against the rules pre-show backstage time slide. Castiel had been here every night this week to sit with Dean before the show, he'd bought his ticket for closing night, which Dean and Gabe both had told him is always the best night. He, Balthazar, Sam, Dean’s dad and Jack would be sitting front row, center section. And Castiel knew how often the cast got in the audience to keep their acts moving, he couldn't wait to get to see Dean up close and personal, thick eyeliner and handsome suit, standing just out of reach…  
“Hey, baby? You there? I asked if I should do my makeup like I did the past few nights,” Dean chuckled, grabbing Castiel’s face and turning it to look at him.  
“You've looked good, but maybe a little lighter of a pink for your lips so it looks natural?” Castiel suggested, his eyes falling to Dean’s lips and lingering. They twisted into a coy smile before he leaned forward and kissed Castiel. Each night had been laden with plenty of pre-show makeout sessions, and this night was obviously no different.  
Castiel easily returned the kiss, holding Dean’s hips as he moved to straddle the brunette, the two of them humming happily into it, pressing their bodies close. They didn't do this often enough in both of their opinion. The slightly frantic grabbing at clothes, the desperate leaning into each other, clutching at the other, breathy whines that neither boy would admit to - they loved it. A lot. They loved being together and sharing space(and spit) and lives.  
Of course, it couldn't last long, because Gabe was bursting through the door, Balthazar and Crowley in tow, complaining about their bitching. Dean tried to scramble off of Castiel’s lap quickly, but the brunette held him still, glaring daggers at Gabe. When the three of them finally stopped trying to yell over each other and took in the raging bitch face Castiel was directing their way, Gabriel and Balthazar lost it, doubled over laughing hysterically, and Crowley just stood there smirking.  
“Do y'all fuck before every show, or something? Dean always has to borrow hairspray after you leave, Cas,” Gabe smirked, waggling his brow and ruffling Dean’s hair. Castiel smacked his brother’s hand away and tugged his boyfriend close to his chest, staying silent as he kept the bitch face steady.  
“Ooh! Silent treatment! This means I can say whatever I want and Cassie can't do anything about it!” Balthazar grinned, high fiving Gabriel. “Hm. Where to begin… ooh! Crow-chicka-bow-wow!”  
“Don't call me that, dipshit.”  
“Yo! Language! Have I told you about that time when Cas and I were seven and I found him outside naked on a car hood surrounded by bees? And he was enjoying it?” Balthazar smirked, plopping down on the couch by Castiel and slinging an arm around his shoulders. “I knew something was wrong with him from the very beginning after I witnessed that mess.”  
“I was high on Tylenol that your dumbass babysitter overdosed me on!” Castiel huffed, ducking away from Dean’s cooing and cheek pinching.  
“You were still weird as a kid. That makes me less worried about how you are now,” Dean chuckled, ducking down and stealing a kiss from Castiel.  
“Why can't you go back to hating Balthazar? There was a time in your life you would've kicked him out of this room. Why can't we go back to that?”  
“Because you're in too deep, Cassie. He loves you, and everyone knows we're a package deal. Plus, now I can give him all of the good backstories and he can give me the present-stories to tease you about.”  
“Woah, hey, I never agreed to this,” Dean laughed, settling down against Castiel’s chest, taking his hand and twining their fingers.  
“But, it's golden! It's the perfect arrangement!” Balthazar pouted, giving Dean his best puppy eyes.  
“I'll think about it,” He finally conceded, shaking his head.  
“Hey!” Castiel exclaimed, poking Dean in the side and making him squeak at the suddenness of the touch. “Boyfriends are supposed to be supportive!”  
“As if I don't expect you and Crowley to do the same thing to me,” Dean said with a pointed look at both brunettes, who were staring religiously at anything but Dean. “Case in point.”  
“Oh, shush. And no bad language, the small children have decided to join us!” Gabriel chimed, laughing loudly as Sam and Jack flipped him off when they finally entered the room. “You two done making out?”  
“Yeah, the girls seemed pretty happy with us,” Jack shrugged, and Sam groaned and covered his face with his hands. “You could not have said that in a weirder way.”  
“I don't know, it was a very convincingly straight thing to say,” Dean chuckled, squeezing Castiel’s hand, shifting to get a bit more comfortable in his lap.  
“Dammit! I'm bisexual, I can't sound straight!” Jack mumbled, shaking his head and flopping down on a plastic chair, groaning loudly. “Why can't I ever sound gay enough, but not too gay?”  
“Because you hang out with Sammy, who's influenced by a complete gay?” Dean suggested, winking at Jack before kissing Castiel’s cheek.  
“That's actually a good point. I wonder if my gayness can be attributed to who I hang out with and am influenced by…” Jack muttered, sitting up straight and pulling out his phone to start rapidly typing… something out. Heaven only knows.  
“Alright, well, now that that's over…” Crowley chuckled, pulling a card out of his jacket pocket and handing it to Dean. “Don't open that until you get home tonight, I mean it. We all need to get out of here so you can get ready. And that includes the one you're currently koala bear-ing. Up, up, come on.”  
Dean huffed and yelped as Crowley playfully smacked his ass, laughing as he received a good-natured glare from Castiel in doing so. They all stood up and walked out, leaving the couple a few seconds alone.  
“Hey, don't let me distract you tonight, alright?” Castiel murmured, stepping in front of Dean, hands sliding around his waist.  
“As if. You wish you could make me break character,” Dean murmured, arms wrapping around Castiel’s neck. They both closed the distance in a soft, close-mouthed kiss before Castiel stepped away.  
Gabriel muttered something outside of the door before reaching in and yanking him backwards, making the last thing Dean saw before he'd be onstage Castiel yelping and falling on his ass. It was a good image to have, kept him smiling.

 

 

  
[](https://emmalenagrace.tumblr.com/post/173795752370/title-4-times-dean-tried-to-kiss-castiel-1-time)  


 

 

“Dean, that was amazing!” Sam ran up to his brother in the photo booth and jumped on him in a hug, the rest of the cast laughing, the kid playing Fester reaching out to steady Dean so he wouldn’t fall. He’d changed from his finale outfit back into the true Gomez Addams suit he’d worn at the beginning of the production, he’d even smudged some eyeliner back under his eyes.  
“Thanks, Sammy. Did you want a picture with the entire cast?” Dean laughed, ruffling his brother’s hair.  
“Yeah! I have to remember all of these people when you're old and grouchy, so I can remember the days that you were young and always had fun.”  
“You say some damn weird shit, Sammy,” Dean shook his head, still smiling.  
The cast crowded around Sam where he was hugging Dean’s waist, the only person to flinch when the flash went off being Sam.  
“Gah! How does that not hurt your eyes?” Sam groaned, rubbing his eyes and turning towards Dean.  
“We just performed on a stage with lights worse this!” The girl playing Morticia laughed quietly, ushering Samout of the way of the next family and smiling sweetly.  
Castiel swallowed nervously, keeping his place towards the edge of the photo booth, waiting for everyone else to go through. He had a plan.  
“Are you finally going to take the photo?” Dean had waited until the family had left the area, smiling hopefully at Castiel. He smiled weakly and nodded, walking up to the group of people.  
“Can I get one with the whole cast and then one with you?”  
“Of course. I mean, as long as you paid for them and the guy has enough paper,” Dean smiled, pulling Castiel to stand next to him and the girl playing Morticia. Castiel visibly flinched at the flash, grunting and squeezing his eyes shut tight as they started watering.  
“Sam wasn't fucking kidding, holy shit,” He groaned, rubbing over his eyes, flipping off the general area that laughter was emanating from. It sounded like Crowley and Balthazar. Traitors.  
“Alright, how do you want this one?” Dean asked softly, bumping their shoulders. Castiel took a deep, steadying breath and hoped Dean didn't notice, before wrapping an arm around his shoulders.  
It felt like ages as the camera operator counted down from three, but when Castiel saw just one finger up, he reached over to grab Dean’s collar and pulled him in for a kiss right before the flash went off.

[](https://emmalenagrace.tumblr.com/post/173795752370/title-4-times-dean-tried-to-kiss-castiel-1-time)

Dean squeaked in surprise before wrapping his arms around Castiel’s neck, pressing up close to him. They both broke it when another flash went off, looking up to see Dean’s dad handing the cameraman a $10 bill. “Your mom would kill me if I didn't get that. Don't even deny it.”  
Dean laughed quietly and nodded, ducking down to give Castiel another kiss.  
Instead of ducking away or turning his face, he even leaned into it, smiling as he kissed Dean back. Both the cast and their huddle of friends joined in with hoots and hollers, Gabriel yelling, “Get a room!” before wolf-whistling.  
This time when they broke apart, they were both grinning stupidly, holding tight to each other.  
“I love you,” Dean said quietly, his cheeks tinted that pretty little shade of pale pink.  
Castiel grinned, bumping their noses together. “I guess I can't keep you from saying it in public, now, huh?” He teased, reaching for Dean’s hand and squeezing it. “Because it's true, and I can scream it to the world.”  
“All of the world?”  
“I'm telling dad tonight with Gabe and Balthazar. I don't want you there in case he gets… upset.”  
“That's understandable. I expect a call the moment you can, no matter which way it goes. I won't go to sleep until I get one, alright?”  
“Yes, yes, okay,” Castiel laughed quietly, kissing Dean’s cheek before they walked off of the mat so the photo crew could start packing up for the night.

Castiel did call that night, and Dean came over, and Chuck embraced the two of them before absolutely mortifying Castiel when he popped a dollar store streamer over them, explaining how long he'd waited for Castiel to finally tell him.  
Apparently it had been strikingly obvious to everyone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [](https://emmalenagrace.tumblr.com/post/173795752370/title-4-times-dean-tried-to-kiss-castiel-1-time)  
>   
>   
> 
> The absolutely perfect rendering of the kiss!
> 
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>  
> 
> Come visit [me](http://www.squishysterek.tumblr.com/) or [EmmalenaGrace](https://www.emmalenagrace.tumblr.com/) on Tumblr some time (:


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